Monday, 28 May 2012

The Olympics

I encountered another over-friendly uncle last weekend.

You know the type - always introducing themselves to strangers.

Joining in with the gang.

Cracking jokes. 


I wrote about this once before.

Anyway, I was sitting outside with the work gang, having a drink.

And on the table behind was an over-friendly uncle. 

He managed to throw several "witty" remarks in our direction within the first 5 minutes of arriving. 


Soon more colleagues turned up and our table was getting cramped.

And it was in the sun. 

Hot, HOt, HOT!

So we started to shuffle the table back…

…then over-friendly uncle, in grand ceremonial fashion, announced to his table;

Uncle: Come, move back, move back!

And dramatically waved his hands around, as he shuffled his own table to make space for us. 

Which was very kind of over-friendly uncle. 

Colleague: Oh, thanks a lot, thank you. 

Uncle: No problem! No problem! You have foreigner! We must make sure she's has a golden experience of Malaysia, to bring back to her country! Isn't it!
Crafty uncle has now directly picked me out and I turned to smile, appreciatively. 

And then I'm caught. 

Uncle: Which country are you from?


Me: ...England.

Uncle: Oh very nice. Olympics!

Me: Yup.

A slight pause. 

Over-friendly uncle is getting creative. 

Uncle: So, are you taking part?

Me: Yah, yup. 

The pause made me think that the topic had changed, and he was now referencing the work/holiday activity. 

Which I clearly was taking part in. 

And then I realised that this was probably not the case;

Me: Oh, you mean the Olympics? Am I taking part in the Olympics??

Uncle: Yes, yes!

Me: Ha! Oh right. No, I'm not. 

Uncle: Oh. I am surprise. You look…the right size. 


This will not be good. 

Uncle: Ya, you look like an athlete.

[nope. not what i look like]

…wait, what??


That is very much not true. 

Colleague: [under his breath] Eh, you better watch out. Soon he'll be asking for your Facebook.


*flashbacks to Alan*

jeng. jeng. jeng. 

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