Thursday, 22 November 2012

Make Up and Homelessness

I went to a Deepavali open house last week. 

Usually I'm quite lazy when it comes to make-up. 

But I was going with my friend who is QUEEN of make up. 

So figured I'd make an effort. 

I put on extra thick eyeliner. 

But it's just a simple open house, so no need for all the other drama-drama make-up. 


Arrived at my friends house & lay in bed while she got ready (it was far too early to be awake on a public holiday…). 

Friend: So…are you gonna wear make-up?

Me: I am wearing make up.

She turned and squinted at me. 


Friend: Come on la, eyeliner is not make up!!

Well…I…oh. Ok. 


A week before that I was at a wedding. 

2 days before the event I suddenly realised I was alone.

: /

Me: Hey - do you have a date?? Can I be your date??

Friend: I do have a date - but it's ok, I'll make him the third wheel for you!


Ok, I accept.


And ooh, who is your date, we have not talked for too long?!

I asked her this question two days later when aforementioned guy disappeared to get drinks for us. 

Friend: [dreamily] Aw…

Me: So. How did you meet??

Friend: Volunteering at the soup kitchen. 

Me: :O
*collapses face down on the table. 

Friend: …I know, right?

Good looking AND cares about homeless people? Sigh…



New plan of action. 

Make up. 

And the soup kitchen. 

...Even as I write that, I realise this plan could go horribly wrong.

But I'm going to ignore that possibility for now.


Friday, 16 November 2012

A Grand Saga

My friend has deserted me for Canada this month. 

I drove her to the airport. 

But of course, an airport drive is rarely without event. 

Especially when you check-in online.

(Never a good idea in my opinion.)

I arrived at her place at 5pm, with another friend. 

She'd just got in the shower. 


5:30pm - another friend arrived. 

5:45pm - bags in the car.

And finally, close to 6pm, we were on our way. 

Bearing in mind, baggage check-in closes at 7:25pm and boarding starts at 7:50pm.

And we live 1 hour from the airport. 

: /

Now my friend now announces that she has to go and pick up important documents for her thesis, from the nephew of her lecturer. 


But it's ok, it's just near her house.

Friend: Hi, are you there already? You don't know? What can you see? 

It quickly transpired that this boy didn't know our town at all and was on the other side of it.


Friend: Ok, you drive towards us, we'll drive towards you and meet in the middle, ok?

10 minutes later. 

Friend: Ok, where are you now? A big Maybank?

Other friend: *shrugs*

Friend: Some more? ...Beach cafe?

Other friend: What? Beach cafe?! That's where he was meant to be the first time - that's back near your house!

Friend: Whaaaat?

Me: @.@

A tense moment.

I u-turned and we headed back across town. 

10 more minutes.

Friend: What car are you driving? Saga? Ok bye.

Other friend: Number?

Me: Colour?

Friend: Oh…this boy… :s

Too distracted. 

We DASH through the traffic to finally meet him at a petrol station.

Other Friend 2: There! Saga!

New, shiny, red Saga.

Other friend: I wonder what he looks like…

Friend: Ok, drive really close so Other Friend 2 can just take the papers and throw this through the window.

(She'd brought him a token chocolate bar).

I cruised up, stopping right next to the car. 


The next part was in SLO-MO…

Other friend 2 drops her finger to the "open window" button. 

We turn to peer into the car.

He's facing the other way.

But something's wrong…

…he looks older and fatter than he sounded…


...there's someone else in the car with him…

…wearing tudung?

The man turns…


We all scream!

Other Friend 2 PULLS her hand dramatically away from the window.

Other Friend 2: OH MY GOODNESSSS! Look what you almost made me dooo!!

Friend: Oh nooooo, where is he?!

Other Friend: There! Old saga!

Sure enough, other side of the car is an old, silver saga. 

[old saga]

Out jumps a small boy.  


Documents & chocolate exchanged. 

Rally driving to the airport. 

Miraculously, we made it. 


Friday, 9 November 2012

Polite English-Ness

Driving home and stuck in a small traffic jam.

Suddenly I felt the unfortunately familiar; 


of a collision. 


Although this time it wasn't my fault. 

Someone hit the back of my car.

My instant reaction was weariness at the though of having to deal with fixing it. 

And then I wasn't really sure what to do. 

I was on the highway, I didn't wanna get car-jacked…


…but then…

I probably should go assess the damage.

The guy also got out of his car to see. 

Guy: Sorry, ah.

I reached the back and took a look. 

Guy: Ok, ah?


It was ok. 

Not even a scratch. 

Me: Ya it's fine. Ok. Nothing there.

Guy: Ok, so sorry ah, sorry. 

Me: Ok. 

I turn to get back into my car. 

Guy: Ah…where you from?


This is not the time??

You just hit my car! And now the traffic ahead is moving! We are not making friends here?!

But, in moments of disbelief, Mat Salleh Keliru cannot override English politeness.

And before I could stop myself, with a 100% blur face as I ran back to my door,

Me: England.