I went to watch my first live Malaysian football match this week - Malaysia vs. Japan.
Standing outside the stadium with my friend, we'd bought our tickets and were waiting for the rest of the gang to appear.
And then we met Alan.
Alan was a Chinese boy with bleach-blond, K-pop hair.
He was wearing tight black jeans, a white Greenday t-shirt and sling bag.
Go ahead - imagine him in your mind.
Not only was Alan amusingly out of place, he was also more confused than me.
Alan: Hi, er, what's happening here?
Bearing in mind that we were standing in front of Bukit Jalil stadium and we were surrounded - surrounded - by hundreds of people wearing football jerseys and chanting Harimau Malaya songs, and stalls selling aforementioned jerseys, scarves and annoying football horns, that was a ridiculous question.
[ridiculous, Alan. Ridiculous.]
Me: It's a football match.
Alan: Oh, oh. I don't like football.
Alan: It would be good if, if Greenday was playing.
Me: ...Why are you here?
Alan: I'm going to Ampang, actually, on the LRT, but I saw this and got down to see.
Isn't Ampang, like, the other end of the line?
He looked a bit Japanese, and if he was, he could've been forgiven for getting a bit lost.
But no, he was from KL.
A slightly weird conversation ensued until my friend walked off to continue the real-friend search.
Not good to get lost in a football crowd.
Me: Ok, bye!
Alan: Ah, do you have Facebook or something?
What?? No, you big stranger!!
*Mat Salleh runs away*
Malaysia loses, 4-0.