Monday, 23 April 2012

What Happened to Diane?

I was out with my friend the other day. 

Just lepaking in the street, watching the world go by. 

And then this random guy walked past. 


Neither of us had ever seen him before. 

He looked me dead in the eyes and declared boldly, smiling,
Strange Man: "Hi Pam, how are you?"

Then he carried on walking down the street. 

Me: o.0

Friend: o.0

Me: Did that really just happen?

Friend: …Yes. Yes it did.


And I thought Diane was weird...

Friday, 20 April 2012

Urgently Needed: Accessories Sponsor

I  have become a whirlwind of loss and destruction. 

You may think this is a very bold statement. 

But peruse the evidence...

1. I keep losing rings. 

In the most annoying way.

Before I wash my hands, I take off any ring I'm wearing. 

Place it next to the sink. 

Wash my hands. 

Dry my hands. 

…and then walk away. 


I've done it THREE times already. 

Although the last time I managed a successful salvage.

Got in my car and my hand felt a bit light…RING!

Ran back into the building and found it waiting for me at the sink. 


[the it once was...*tear*]

2. Every bag I buy, breaks. 

I'm not sure if this is because they're cheap.

[rm10. took it to a rave...]

Or because I put way too much heavy stuff inside. 

[i wonder how many days we have left...]

But either way. 

The handles literally snap off.

[i actually paid real money for this one. sad face]

You see?

Loss And Destruction. 

That being said, if anyone wants to sponsor me accessories that won't break or get lost, I am willing.


Tuesday, 17 April 2012

A Mac Tablet? What?

After work I dropped by my friends house. 

He had a job to discuss…ooo. 

But I was hungry!

So we went out. 

In the car he was really excited to show off his new "tablet".

Friend: It's Sony. 

Me: …Ok?

Friend: … 
[like, c'mon, be interested?!]

Me: ...Is that good?
Friend: Yeah. Well, it's not a Mac. 

Me: Mac don't do tablets. Do they?

Friend: The iPad. Mat Salleh. Seriousleh?

Me: O.O

Friend: Uh huh. 

Me: …yaaaaaaa….

I'd had a long day, alright??

[oh, right, the iPad...yaaaa]

Thursday, 12 April 2012

English Accents

Adjusting to foreign English accents is always a fun experience.

Indian English is relatively easy to figure out.

But sometimes one tiny word throws you...and you lose the entire conversation.


I was in the hotel restaurant with my sister.

It's well-recommended not to drink tap water in India, so it was a daily ritual to go down and get bottled water before we went out for the day or sat down to eat.

And there was always loads of bottles in the fridge.

It's not something you run out of.

Sister: Excuse me, can we get some water?

Waiter: Sorry?

This accent thing works both ways.

Even more fun.

Sister: Some water?

Waiter: ...

Sister: ...

Waiter: ...Samosa?

Sister: Yes, some water. 

Waiter: Errrr...samosa, we don't have any samosa I'm afraid. 

Sister: o.0 You don't have any water?

Waiter: What?

[water. samosa. sounds similar. but is not similar.]

Being the objective observer to this conversation,





Me: No samosa. Mineral water.

Waiter: Oh. No problem. 


Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Late Night Cereal

This post is less an observation of what happens when cultures clash in foreign lands and more like...whatever country you're in, whatever age you are, when you spend enough time with family you can't avoid acting like a child.

Why does that happen...


11pm is not a very normal time to eat, in my opinion.

But it was 11 pm and there I was, in a restaurant with my friend and sister.

I just wanted something small...

Me: What's banana fry?

Friend: Oh it's good, you should try it. 

Me: [to waiter] Do you have banana fry?

Waiter: No.

Me: Oh.

Waiter leaves.

Me: I'll just have cornflakes then.

They both stare at me.

In silence.

Sister: Cornflakes?!

Friend: They might not have it at this time. 

Me: Why?

They exchange a look.

Me: Well if they don't then I'll pick something else. 

Another pause.

Friend: you wanna try pilau?

Me: Mmm.... :/ 

Sister: We could share some chicken? 

Me: ... 

Sister: And naan?

Me: No. I've reached my Indian food limit. I don't want curry. I don't want bread. I don't want meat. 


That's all I've been eating for a week.

Me: But I'm quite thirsty, maybe that's influencing my thoughts. 

Sister: Drink something then!

There's only tap water on the table.

Me: Drink what??

Sister: Oh my goodness!!

Me: What?! I just want cornflakes!!!

Friend: 0.0

[couldn't be happier]

See? So quickly.

I had cornflakes.

They were delicious.

And later my sister concurred that cereal at night is quite normal...but not in a restaurant.