Monday, 29 October 2012

No Milk Tea No Faze Mega-Fans

I still enjoy a good bubble tea. 

Or, as the hipsters now refer: pearl milk tea. 

On a recent visit to a well known PMT stand…

Me: Um…Strawberry Pudding Milk Tea.

Guy: Uh, no milk tea. 

Me: O.o?

Friend: O.o?

Guy: No pearl oso.

Me: Wha-? Everything here is milk tea..? Or pearls. Then what can we have?

Guy: Grass jelly roasted milk tea. 

He points to the picture behind him. 

Wait - what? 

You don't have milk tea but…I can have milk tea..?

I don't get it.

Guy: Roasted milk tea, can have.

Friend: Isn't that the same thing?

Guy: No, different. You can have roasted and add topping. But not pearls.

Me: Oh? Okayyy…so I can have the pudding?

Guy: Ya!

Me: Then I'll just have that. 

Guy: O.o?

Me: Roasted strawberry milk tea..?

Guy: No cannot.

Us: Whyy??

Guy: No matching!

Me: Whatttt? :(

Guy: Can have roasted with pudding but cannot have strawberry pudding, it's not matching.

Me: :(((

This was supremely confusing and SILLY. 

The queue had begun to grow behind us. 

What are they all gonna order - milk tea tak ada?!

How laaa….decision pressure!!

Me: Fine. Grass Jelly Roasted Milk Tea =.=

[generic example...]

And yet, for all our struggles, as soon as my friend and I moved out of the way, every other customer breezed through.

Like they knew everything on the menu.

As if no milk tea at the milk tea stand is not a problem. 

That's some Milk Tea mega-fans. 

The less I say about that, the better.

Monday, 22 October 2012

ATVs in the Jungle

Friend: Here, quick, just get on this one and do the test rounds. 

This is how I found myself climbing onto an ATV for the first time ever, about to start shooting a video. 

: /

Of course, I missed the "how-to" briefing because I was shooting something else.

Which to be fair, hadn't seemed important, as I wasn't planning on getting on the vehicle at any point.

Instructor: *mumble, vague hand gesture*

It was some kind of instruction for turning it on. 

Me: O.o?

Instructor: *louder mumble, repeated vague gesture*

I attempt to copy.

Me: O.O?

And fail horribly.

Instructor: =.= 

He puts my hand in the actual correct place. 

And repeat. 

At least 3 times for all the levers and buttons I was supposed to press.

Finally, the beast was alive. 

I was sent on my way with a wave of the hand - GO! Practice!

As I rounded the first corner and started bouncing rapidly down a hill, I was suddenly gripped by a deep and terrible panic.

I don't know how to stop. 



There are a lot of levers and buttons. 

And I don't know what they're for.

And my speed is increasing. 

And there are a lot of people watching.

OMG WHERE'S THE $@**^£@ BRAKE!?!?!?!


…this is what the briefing is for…

I praise God for simple reflexes and that a childhood spent on bicycles meant the first thing I grabbed for was, in fact, the brake. 


With the accelerator and the brake under control, it was time to shoot.

My friend put on the helmet cam and handed me the loose camera.

Friend: You need to get to the front so we can shoot them all coming up.

Me: >.O

This is a new face.

It means, brain agrees, and is trying to think about shots…but brain is a little distracted with new skill and trying to avoid death.

Anyway, it's too late - they've started driving.

And the very first part of the course is a ridiculous hill - ridiculous in its incline and the uneven-ness of its surface.

After almost flipping the beastly ATV backwards up the hill, losing a leg and knocking my head on a low-hanging bamboo, I reached the top.

Now his eyes were open.

Friend: Gimme that.

He took the loose camera and thrust the helmet-cam in my direction.

Much better idea.

[scarier than it looks. honestly.]

Monday, 15 October 2012

Real Life Slasher Movie

I've been very occupied recently with a new venture - theatre.

Writing was easy. 

Directing, less so.

I have two actors. 

One night in rehearsal we'd finished around 8pm.

So it was dark outside and we were the last people in the building.

We carried everything out of the rehearsal room.

I ask my actor,

Me: Eh, you're last out, switch off the light?

We dump everything in the staff room, lights off, lock up, and are about to leave.

He didn't turn out the light. 


We all look down the dark corridor.

Actor: We'll wait here. 

Me: No, you have to come!

I know how dark it gets. 

I'm not going alone. 

Together we go & switch out the last light. 

It's super dark. 

The college is like a maze of window-less corridors and the few windows there are let in the tiniest sliver of moonlight. 

It's creepy.

Actor: Oh…

Me: What?

Actor: I left my water bottle in the staff room…

Actress: Really?

Actor: Yeaaaah… 


We trapse back towards the staff room.

In silence.

It feels like we're all thinking the same thing, but no one wants to say it out loud.

Until, quietly, from behind my ear...

Actor: This is the part in the movie where someone gets killed…

Me: I know right?

I couldn't quite see his eyes.

Me: Eeee..!

I ran away a little, feeling like that might be his cue to stab me…


That's silly.

I rummaged in my bag for the staff room key. 

In the semi-darkness. 

Then I stepped forward, reaching blindly for the key hole. 

I push the key into the door…AND THE DOOR OPENS!! 



Actor: No, no, don't do that?!

Me: But-, I-, the door-!??!!?

Actor thinks I'm playing a cruel trick, steps forward, reaches into the staff room and switches on the light. 

Which reveals that I had, in fact, locked the door but that I hadn't closed it properly first.

So it was still open. 

[this is luther. we created him in rehearsals. now i bet you're wondering what the play is about, huh?]

I explained. 

Actor: Oh. I like how you thought someone was going to kill you…so you took one step backwards.


I was like….proper too scared to move. 

I hope no one does try to kill me cos I clearly won't do much about it…


**don't forget to come n catch Short + Sweet Theatre Week 1@KLPac, 17th-20th Oct ;) **

Tuesday, 9 October 2012


My housemate broke his nose in an Anime Fight. 


No, just kidding.

It was an MMA Fight. 

But they sound the same when yelped through a cheap sound-system, by an over-excited MC.

We ended up spending 6.5 hours in A&E.

And I didn't have a book.

So these are the things I was pondering:

1. Does it make any sense to not have a conveniently placed car park for the emergency room?

2. The sign promises that a non-emergency will be seen within 90 minutes. Getting your blood pressure checked and then being sent out to the waiting room does not count as "being seen". In my opinion.

3. Other peoples' blood is really disgusting. Glad I'm not a doctor.

4. There is an underage and overweight boy wandering around by himself. Who owns him? And why is he not wearing any trousers?

5. Some of these doctors look far too young...does that mean I'm getting old?

6. Why is there a password for the internet. I am SO BORED.


Wednesday, 3 October 2012

The Press Conference That Wasn't

My friend sent me an email the other day, inviting me to a press conference. 

It was with some Malaysian Youtube "Stars".

She couldn't go and as it was in my area and about my industry (video - yay!), she though of me.

Me: It's gonna be like a panel interview, I just listen and take notes?

Friend: I'm not sure, it could be like a press conference or you might get 1-on-1 time with them? There are over 75 bloggers invited so that might seem impossible.

Me: Ok!

This conversation was mere hours before it started. 

Very late notice. 

So off I went, bringing 2 blogging friends with me. 

We arrived, perfectly on time, at the venue.

Which was a restaurant.

That looked quiet and empty and nothing like a press conference…

Me: Hi, we're here for the press conference.

Waiter: ^.^? 

Me: Urrr….

Waiter: Do you have a reservation?

Me: Ummm...

OMG we're in the wrong place.

Waiter: There's a table reserved for "Yasmin" in the back, for 10 people. It could be that? 

Me: I don't think so...

Friend: Are you sure it's here?

OH NO, I've done it again.

Failed to accurately read information in emails. 

This should not become a habit.

Me: I'm sure it was here! Do you have internet on your phone??

Friend: Yes. 

Me: Okcheckmyemails! 

The email was from Yasmin. 

There you go, we do want the table in the back. 

Pause for thought: there's a table in the back of the restaurant reserved for 10 people. 

We walked through the restaurant. 

At the back section we found the "press conference". 

4 youtubers, 3 bloggers and a newspaper, sitting around a table. 



Welcome to my life. 

Unprepared for everything.

And yet...

Here's the semi-sensible blog post resulting from the press conference that wasn't a press conference.

[that was my actual expression.]