I called my friend to get his advice re: previously mentioned phone drama. I was already annoyed, for obvious reasons. He didn't help.
friend: hi. hello? hello, hello?
me: i'm here.
friend: oh. hiiii. how are you?
me: i'm ok.
friend: *giggles* hello?
me: ...why are you being weird?
friend: weird? i am being weird? no.
friend: why aren't you talking? you're being weird.
me: ...are you high?
friend: what do you mean, high? *giggles*
friend: ...i am bonging...
me: ok. never mind.
friend: you are angry with me?
me: no. i'm in a bad mood already.
friend: oh really? why? someone...bullying you?
friend: oh? did…did someone write on your Facebook?
me: 0.o ...what?
friend: did someone write on your face…your facebook wall, "you are fat"?
Go ahead. Try disputing the title.