Chicken, Eggs & The Polis

I was having a work-at-home-day. 

About 4pm I was hungry & going crazy from the lock-in. 

Decided to go buy eggs. 

You can make anything with eggs.

[amazing eggs]

As I was driving I suddenly had the brilliant idea to buy taiwan fried chicken. 

Which meant a change of direction and going -slightly- out of my taman. 

Polis Road Block. 

[curse you, delicious chicken]

They stop me. 

*winds down window*

Polis: License

I had over my visa-card. 

Polis: Where are you from?

Me: England

Polis: How long have you been here?

Me: 3 years

Polis: Student?

Me: No, working. 

Polis: Where?

Me: In a college...

Polis: Married?

=.=

Me: No.

He smiles. 

And sends me over to the side for more questions. 

Here we go. 

...

Another polis officer comes over. 

He asks me all the same questions then asks for my license. 

I give it to him. 

Polis 2: Why you don't have local license?

Omg, are you serious.

JPJ is such a mess. 

Polis 2: This you can only use for three months in Malaysia. 

Me: Ya I know. I went to UK in January. So it's only been 2 months. 

Polis 3: So how?

Me: What?

Polis 3: Ya, it's your fault.

Me: What's my fault? I didn't do anything wrong. 

??

After a while he gives up on the bribe-attempt and gets someone else to have a go. 

Another officer comes over and has a very similar conversation, this time including, where is your passport and where are you going - passport at home, going to buy eggs.

Then he also gives up. 

And my original polis officer comes over. 

Me: Tolong, I nak beli telur, sahaja…

Polis: You can speak Malay?

He doesn't really care about my eggs. 

He wants to ask me the same questions as everyone else. 

But then he has an idea.

Polis: Where is your boyfriend? He's Malay or English? 

Me: I don't have...

He smiles.

Polis: Ok, this time I just give you warning, ah? Because we are friends. I want to learn English, nak belajar, ah. My English not very good.

Yay, time to go!

Me: No, it's ok already :)

Polis: I want to learn - you can teach me?

Come on, give me back my license.

Me: Haha, ya, boleh...

Polis: So where is your number?

=.=

Me: I can't give you my number…

He looks pissed and walks off. 

WHAT. 

No fair!!

Back comes serious-looking Mr. Polis 2. 

Polis 2: I need to see your passport. 

Me: o.o? Really?

Polis 2: Yes. You can U-turn here, then come back. 

O.o

Me: Really? You need to see my passport?

Polis 2: Yes. How do I know, you've been here 2 years or two months?

Me: I have to come all the way back up, through this traffic?

The massive traffic jam that their unnecessary road block has created. 

Polis 2: Yes. 

Me: Ok. Can. But it will take me half an hour or an hour to get back here. With all that traffic.

Polis 2: Ok.

So annoyed. 

Me: Can I go and get my eggs first?

Polis 2: Ok. 

Me: Ok. 

Polis: Coming back, ah.

Me: Ya, ok…

I leave. 

I'm not coming back. 

I call my lawyer friend to make sure this is a good decision. 

Friend: Did they write anything down?

Me: No.

Friend: Did they take any pictures?

Me: No. 

Friend: Then don't go back la! Nothing to worry about. If you go, definitely they will try to get something from you. 

HAH. 

Do your jobs laaaa, polis, stop simply harassing!!!!!!!

Pervs.

The she added,

Friend: Hey, so how can we make you look less white..?

Me: Hahahahahahahahaha!!! Ya man, I had sunglasses, shorts…habis, la.  

Grrr….