Wednesday 22 June 2011

The Last Time I Wear a Bikini..?


Time for a scary, nay terrifying, story.

I've given myself a day to recover and reflect…because this is not the kind of story I imagined I'd ever be telling and it certainly doesn't fit with the tone I was attempting to create here. But. If one cannot blog about daily happenings, what is the blog for??

So here we go…

My friend and I just took a weekend trip to Cherating. Sun, sand and sea -  fun. So we drove the 3.5 hours from KL to the East Coast and checked into our hotel.

First things first, this is clearly not the resort they photographed for the website.

Second of all, after giving us our room key, the receptionist confidently pointed us towards our chalet (always more exciting than staying in a hotel block, no?). We walked in said direction…only to discover the chalet was in fact located in exactly the opposite direction. How long has he worked here??

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Chalet is delightful, kampong style, raised, wooden hut. Small problem - air con doesn't work. But Chinese people are the most vocal complainers I've ever met, and as my companion is Chinese, we head to reception:

"Eh, your air con not working!!"

Turns out we didn't press the button hard enough.

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We proceed to enjoy our mini-break - roaming in our bikinis, lying on the beach, eating noodles in the pool, etc, etc.

Contextual Note to Explain Assumptions Later in Story: Normally in swimming pools the sign says no jeans and no t-shirts. At this resort, there was a picture of shorts and t-shirts next to big green tick.

Eventually, nighttime comes and we sleep.

Then. Out of the darkness I hear a whisper:

"Claire….Claire. I think there's someone outside."

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Now, I love to sleep. Really, really. I love it. And nothing upsets me more than being woken up in the night. I don't care about anything at 2am, it can wait. Even if there is someone outside. Even it's a dinosaur. Or the apocalypse. Can it just wait till morning?

But my eyes are open. Sigh. And as I'm already facing the window, the only thing I have to do is look up to check if anyone's there. I accept this task. 

And silhouetted against the curtains, I see the figure of a man...

But, it is really late and I am very sleepy. Abstract things always look like people or monsters when you're half asleep. It's nothing. 

And then the figure moves. 

And then the figure moves the curtains. 

I am now thinking:

"Oh crap, there's a pervert outside trying to watch us sleep. Gross. But I'm not gonna move."

And then slowly, my brain catches up…

"WE SHUT THE WINDOWS!! THE CURTAINS ARE ON THE INSIDE OF THE WINDOW!! SOMEONE HAS OPENED OUR WINDOW AND IS CLIMBING INTO OUR ROOM!!!!"

I suppose my friend saw this calculation happen on my face and let rip the most immense scream I've ever heard, simultaneously flapping her hands and jumping onto my bed, whilst I jump bolt upright and join in the screaming. 

Terror, like none I have felt before. 

And the figure is gone. 

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I scramble for the bedside light and we call reception, babbling something about, "a man in the window, please come and help".

Also at this point, feeling vulnerable and underdressed, I pull on some trousers and pick up my bra, then get yelled at:

"What you doing!?! Don't put that on now?!"

Oh yah…I guess now's not really a bra moment…cardigan will do the job...

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Shortly after, a torchlight appears from outside and my friend calls out in a panic, 

"Help, help, we're in here!!"

They know we are in this room. We just told them to come here and help us. Haha. But seeing as we have no way of knowing if the torchlight is actually the return of the pervert, I am all for this loud announcement. 

Luckily it's not the pervert, it's the night-receptionist Amir, and a security guard. We relay the story.

Question number one, "Do you have anything valuable here, laptops?"

Huh. 

Until he said this, it hadn't even flickered across my mind that the "pervert" was after anything except out bodies…although on reflection, material theft does seem to be the more likely option…(although the prize for his efforts would have been approximately rm100) 

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We move to a new room in the main building, first floor. I am instructed to check the windows. Sliding and metal and seemingly secure. I have a minor panic attack upon realising that by opening the curtains with the light on, I have just revealed our new, secure location to the pervert for potential attack number two...  o.0

Around 4am, after a few hours huddled, sleeplessly in one bed, we hear a sound suspiciously like someone trying to open a sliding window. Against all rational thought, we panic, call Amir and demand he come and escort us to reception. He does, and we stay there with him as our personal security, until breakfast. Then, full of food and confidence at the rising of the sun, off we go to bed…traumatised but alive…

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The next day I wore my bikini. 

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