Futbol Malaysia: Uncles and Lasers

It's a slightly bitter entry for Malaysians to read today…because I am writing about football. In particular, the World Cup qualifier that Harimau Malaya lost to Singapore last week. 

But fear not. My interest is not really the game itself…but a few incidental details. Like where on earth does Singapore find its players???

From what I understand, saying that half of their players are foreign is no understatement. It's literally true. But because it's Singapore, not Milan, their selection is…interesting. Take this guy for example:

[i'm talking about the guy in the red. yes.]

Me: "Daddy is...is that you..? Oh wait, no."

Hahaha. My dad doesn't really look like that...but the point is, this guy's an "uncle"! This is a World Cup qualifying match! There's a reason footballers retire young - every time someone went in for a tackle with him it was like; "Ooh, careful, not too rough, ah?

…reeeaaally awkward to watch…

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And then there's the coach:

[is this guy the coach? i didn't bother to check...]

All the players on the team affectionately call him "grandpa". 

Ok that's a lie. But it didn't surprise you, did it? 

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And then there were the lasers:

[go on, watch. it's only 1 minute]

Are you kidding me, lasers?!?!?!? So in the first few seconds of the video you think:  What? Why is this [cute] guy complaining about nothing? Here's a classic example of legendary, small-boy-football-stall-tactics. 

And then they give you the slow-motion replay and: "…is that…wait…a laser? A LASER?!?!" A laser. What madness is this, Malaysia? Really. You are lasering the Singaporean goalie! Incredible. 

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Ok, enough rant from me. I leave you with my favourite picture of the night:

["ooo" - read with Alan Partridge intonations]