Coats

Shoes, socks and coats. 

All items I am no longer with acquainted with, much to my joy.

But it's quite cold in these parts (England, for those of you who missed that fact).

So they are all necessary...for now.  

The fun thing about coats though, as I have noticed in the past few weeks, is their unexpected but major function:

To secretly absorb all your personal items!

Because all the extra layers of jacket and coat are simply more and more pockets for you to put things in. 

And then lose those things. 

Jeans and a t-shirt, there's only so many places your phone can be. 

Jeans, 2 jumpers and a coat…well, now you're in trouble. 

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Example number 1. 

As I walked down the street, I suddenly wanted to take a photo. 

Something English happened, probably. 

I rummaged in my bag for my camera. 

Can't find. 

Stop walking and rummage. 

Find only the case. 

Well where did I put it then??

In my pocket! For quick access (too bad I forgot I did that...)

Coat pockets? 

Empty. Oh yah - too easy to steal. 

Pat down the next layer. 

Ah ha! Pocket of jumper! 

Smart. 

[just look at all the pockets...]

Example number 2. 

I was with my friend and her mum. 

Friends Mum: What've I done with my phone? [conducts a vague "pat down"] Where's my phone?

Friend: Did you leave it at my house?

Friends Mum: I might have. 

Friend: =.=

Me: ^.^

Friend's Mum: That's very annoying. 

We were ordering food at the time. So we got the food and went to sit down. Ate. Talked about other stuff for a while. 

Friends Mum: Where could I have left my phone? I had it at the shop…and I had it at your house…

Friend: I can try ringing it?

Me: Maybe it fell out in the car.

Friend's Mum: Oh yes, go on then. 

Me: But if it's in the car…or your house…how will that help? 

[Friend starts to ring phone]

Me: =.=

Phone rings!!

Friend's Mum: 0.o

Friend: HAH!

At this point, all the sensible options are searched - all the pockets of all the clothing layers. 

Nothing to show. 

Friend: Is there a hole in the lining?

Friend's Mum: Ooh. This is exciting now [begins to checks more thoroughly, not just pockets. But...] Why has it stopped?

Friend: I hung up. 

Friend's Mum: Well call again. 

Phone rings again.

Frantic whole-coat pat down.

Friend's Mum: Ah hah! Found it! It's in…ooh…it's in my sleeve? It's in my sleeve!?!

And it was. Inexplicably caught between layers in a sleeve…

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You see? 

Coats. 

Mischievous.