Doctor Rage

When you're too busy, falling sick is an appealing idea. 

A day in bed?

Yes please...

But then you actually get sick and it HURTS and it's incredibly BORING.

This happened last week. 

Sigh.

I suffered through work for 2 days, spread my germs around and then on day 3, collapsed in bed.

I had flu. 

(Actual flu, not just a cold.)

To top off a sucky day, I had to go see the doctor.

I just needed an MC. 

Flu doesn't require drugs, it just needs time. 

But I knew he was gonna sell me drugs. 

This really annoys me.

Me: I'm going to request no antibiotics. 

Friend: Why?

Me: Because they're expensive and they're not necessary. 

Friend: Why?

Me: Because I have flu. And flu is a virus. And antibiotics are for bacterial infections. 

Friend: No, flu isn't always a virus…

Me: Yes it is…

Friend: No, it can be anything.

Me: What?…it's a virus. 

We argued about this for a while and finally agreed that it's not good to take unnecessary antibiotics. 

The usual clinic was closed.

Which made me happy as I don't like that doctor. 

So we went to another and waited 30 minutes. 

Then I went into the consultation room….

O.O

Hot doctor!

Curses!

Here's another thing that really annoys me. 

When you're genuinely sick, you're too sick to get up and see the doctor. 

So you go later, when you're a bit better. 

But by then, you don't seem sick anymore and the doctor thinks your lying to get an MC.

=.=

So you have to make a special effort to look sick, even though you're improving. 

My inner monologue was a bit like this: Hot doctor! Oh wait, I'm sick. And deliberately unattractive. Sigh. Give up.

Hot doctor turned out to be a good doctor. 

And I trusted him to prescribe appropriate drugs. 

I left the room.

Friend: So did you ask for no antibiotics?

Me: Um…no. 

Friend: Why?

Me: I was distracted. I didn't ask any questions…

0.o

Then the nurse revealed my supplies:

Cough syrup

Drugs for "Pain"

Drugs for "Fever"

Antibiotics for God-only-knows-what.

RM40.

Huh?

Angry!

Betrayed by Hot Doctor!

I marched back into the consulting room. 

Me: Excuse me, hot doctor! Why have you prescribed me all this CRAP?? You know I don't need any of this, right??? Do you know that? You can gave me MC for ONE day and FOURTY BUCKS worth of drugs?? HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF A DOCTORRR!!!!!

...Nah, I didn't really do that. 

But next time I will.

Because I have a great deal of disappointment and rage towards Hot Doctor for selling out like that.

I only took the cough syrup. 

And I got better by myself, in a few days. 

Hmph.

A&E

My housemate broke his nose in an Anime Fight. 

[ouch]

No, just kidding.

It was an MMA Fight. 

But they sound the same when yelped through a cheap sound-system, by an over-excited MC.

We ended up spending 6.5 hours in A&E.

And I didn't have a book.

So these are the things I was pondering:

1. Does it make any sense to not have a conveniently placed car park for the emergency room?

2. The sign promises that a non-emergency will be seen within 90 minutes. Getting your blood pressure checked and then being sent out to the waiting room does not count as "being seen". In my opinion.

3. Other peoples' blood is really disgusting. Glad I'm not a doctor.

4. There is an underage and overweight boy wandering around by himself. Who owns him? And why is he not wearing any trousers?

5. Some of these doctors look far too young...does that mean I'm getting old?

6. Why is there a password for the internet. I am SO BORED.

>.<

Paralysed Face

Friend: I wanna get my ears pierced again. 

Me: Oh ya? Cool! Lets go. 

Friend: Yesss, tonight? Get yours done too!

Me: …ok!

Friend: Ahh, so exciting! 

Me: I know! But can we go somewhere they have needles? I wanna pierce the top part & it's not good to use the gun for that, right?

Friend: Oh? Why?

Me: Got lots of nerves, they might paralyse my face. 

It's a serious concern. 

I've read the horror stories. 

So we hunted down a reputable looking piercing shop.

RM6 for gun piercing. Including earring. 

RM65 for needle. Excluding earring. 

Me: What? Why?

Piercing Guy: Cos you have to use a new needle. Needles are expensive. It's ok, most people just use the gun. 

Me: Because it's cheap. 

Piercing Guy: …Yeah… 

Cheap does not mean safe. 

But then…rm65 v rm6?

That's a really huge price difference.

Me: Okfine.

Piercing Guy: So who's first?

Friend: You!

Me: Huh? This was your idea!  

>.<

Fine.

Piercing guy draws the placement dot.

Too high.

He draws another. 

Piercing Guy: Ooh...you should get two. 

I look in the mirror.

Me: Oh yaaa...two looks cool...

Friend: What! Don't be crazy.

Me: Why, you're getting two!

Friend: On different ears!

Me: But it looks good, see?

Piercing Guy: Ya it does.

Me: ...Do you get commission?

Piercing Guy: No.

With that cleared up, I decide to try one hole first. 

I sit on the little bench. 

Fear!

Me: Are you gonna paralyse my face?!

Piercing Guy: No. 

Me: Ok. Have you done this before?!

He goes to load the "gun".

Piercing Guy: Yes. 

Me: Ok. Are you sure? Is this your first time?!

Piercing Guy: =.=  ...Yes.

^.^

Ok, I'll stop asking questions.

He turns back to loading the gun.

...and drops the earring packet!!

Me: OMG it IS your first time!!!

Piercing Guy: No, you're making me tense!

O.O

HAHHAHAHA, oops.

Tense piercer not good!

Relax, breathe deeply. 

He shoots. 

o.O

PAIN.

Oh man it hurts so bad. 

That's enough.

My friend goes next. 

She delays for several long minutes by making the piercing guy re-draw her dots over and over again.

Then she's done too.

Me: Ok...I'm ready for my next one.

;)

[oh haiiii my ear!]

p.s. my face is officially not paralysed :D

Company Trip

I went on my company trip this weekend. 

Bonding exercises 'n all that.

In the kampong.

It was the kind of place where as you're walking along a pathway your colleague casually says;

Colleague: Do you think that hole is for a crab? Or just a snake?

o.O

On the second day we were taken on a sea fishing exercise. 

Which wasn't really an exercise…it was actually fishing.

In the sea. 

To reach the sea we had to hike our way through mangrove swamp. 

And then cross the vast, vast sand bank until we hit the water. 

The "sand" was actually mud-sand - some patches were normal beach, others were quicksand style mud pockets and you can't tell the difference until you step into them. 

And they're super-sticky - every step takes serious effort and balance. 

Which is funny to watch. 

[hehe]

The sea was chocolately.

Straits of Malacca. 

Can't see a thing. 

Just brown. 

And it was in this opaque soup that disaster struck.

Me: I'VE LOST MY CROC!!!

Sensible mud shoes. I thought. 

Colleague 1: What?

Me: I've lost my croc!! It's not on my foot!  [waves kaki kosong in air to prove statement] It's in the mud!!

Pivoting on the one foot that is still in-shoe-in-mud, I conduct a frantic, blind search in what I hope is the right place. 

Colleague 1: Just leave it. 

Me: Leave it?! They cost 100 bucks! I'm not leaving 50 bucks in the sea?!!

Colleague 1: It will float up by itself later.

Me: No it won't?!

It's really, really stuck, wherever it is.

So stuck that it came off my foot.

Colleague 1: Yes it will. 

Me: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Frantic wail. 

I only have ONE SHOE!!! 

:(((((

My other colleague takes pity and helps me search. 

[the actual scene]

Colleague 2: Oh! Is this it?

Me: :D

Colleague 2: Oh…oh no, that's your foot?

Me: No it's not! You found it! Pull, pull!!

He pulled and there emerged my croc!

I sent the dear things back to the beach so I didn't lose them again. 

However, I now discover that the mud-sand is nasty mud-sand. 

Like, you step in it and want to die, it feels so disgusting. 

I can't exaggerate that enough. 

All slippery and squelching through your toes. 

EWWWWWW.

Add to that many, many small pinchy crabs. 

And a huge, heavy fishing net. 

Now walk through the sea with it. 

Yeah. 

When the time came, I was quite happy to reach the beach. 

But disaster part two: I stepped on a poison fish!!!

Maybe. 

[probably not this guy...too small...]

I have no idea what it was cos I couldn't see it, but it was sharp and I screamed. 

Although with so much mud-related "YUK" screaming earlier, this went largely ignored. 

As everyone browsed our catch, I examined my foot. 

One of our fishing guides noticed.

Proper Fishing Guy: Cut?

Me: Ah, ya :(

Then he walked away. 

I had cut my foot. 

It was bleeding. 

But whatev's the fishing guy didn't care. 

Or so I thought...

He quickly returned with a handful of thick, dark mud, with leaves and twigs sticking out and gestured for my foot. 

O.O

Concerning. 

I lifted it up. 

He slapped the mud on, squeezed my foot with it (as if squeezing out poison..?), then held his hand out, like, don't move, and walked away. 

@.@

OMG. 

He thinks I'm poisoned and is giving me traditional remedies!

I stood awkwardly with my foot in the air for quite a while. 

[you'd panic too, if this guy was concerned enough to mud pack your foot.]

Then I got a bit bored. 

Me: Eh, can I move now or am I dying? Ask him for me?

Apparently not dying, I was permitted to drop my foot & help put fish into buckets. 

I'm still alive now. 

So I guess that's a good sign.

But I'm still wondering…what did I step on..?

Nurses

I recently went with a friend to visit the doctors (everything is more fun in a pair, no?)

As I was in the waiting room, I was musing that the nice thing about seeing a doctor is that you can tell them anything and they're legally bound to keep your secrets. That's actually better than having friends!

The only other people in the waiting room were 2 young couples…I spent a while trying to guess where they were from. They were Asian. Not local. A bit poor looking (I feel like that's slightly offensive…but it's not meant to be, just an observation…). The nurse was explaining something to them in another language…not Thai…and I probably wouldn't recognise anything else… :P

Then they left. 

The nurse watched them fondly, then looked at me.

Nurse: "Those are my refugees."

Ah-ha! My chance...

Me: "Where are they from?"

Nurse: "Myanmar. They're only here for contraception."

0.0

AH?! What? When did I ask that, I didn't ask that?? And I'm quite sure you're not supposed to tell me, even if I did…??

Nurses take the oath too, right...right?

Doctors

Why do we trust doctors? 

I suppose it's the white coat and all the years of studying. Which gives them a distinct superiority over the rest of us, granted. But at the end of the day they're just people. And this is very concerning, don't you think?

My sister just graduated from medical school (well done you!!). And for the most part I would trust my life to her - she's really smart. But then I remember the time she got locked in a hospital corridor for like…an hour? Or the countless times I've seen her walk down the street and trip over nothing. Or the time she threw a slug at me [this one possibly less relevant]. 

But you get the point. 

I spoke to another recently qualified doctor today, who nonchalantly told me the following;

Doctor: "The first baby I delivered, I dropped it."

Me: "Really?"

Doctor: "Yeah, really."

Me: "On the floor?"

Doctor: "Yeah. it wasn't' far, like, from that chair to the floor." [distance of approx. 1 foot]

Me: "That's quite far…for a baby."

Doctor: "Naaaah, not really. [Justification…] They're really slippery when they come out. They're like eels. I'm serious!"

Nice.

Apparently the baby was fine…